For me, one of the most difficult and maddening aspects of being a mother has been my baby's sleep [or sometimes lack thereof]. Without fail, my son's lack of sleep leads to my own lack of sleep. Little Man was a typical newborn in that he basically slept around the clock, only waking long enough to nurse and look around the room for maybe 15 minutes before conking back out. Once he left the newborn phase, things got a little frustrating. He turned out to be a dreaded cat-napper, i.e. only napping for a maximum of 40-45 minutes at a time! When you've got a new baby and have barely had time to eat, let alone take a shower or other such luxuries, the short nap is a killer. It didn't help me much to read all the baby sleep books and blogs that prescribe the number and duration of naps/night sleep for a baby at any given age. Little Man has seemed to defy the generalizations at every turn. Few things are more frustrating for me than trying desperately to put a baby down for a nap or bed and having him fight it with every ounce of his tiny being.
Now that my boy is a little over a year old, things have definitely improved. It hasn't been instantaneous or overnight improvement. It has taken a ton of trial and error, determination, and the occasional tear here and there [from both of us].
Naps: Little Man had been taking two naps a day without too much fuss until about 11 months old. All of a sudden, he'd still go down for the morning nap like a champ, but fought me on nearly every afternoon nap. I tried everything the experts tell you: look for and follow baby's sleep cues, set scheduled times and stick to them, etc. We held on for a while longer trying to make two naps a day happen, until a little after the year mark when we made the decision to put him down for only one nap per day. A lot of people would disagree with making this change before 18 months, but it was ultimately right for us. Now he goes down for one nap at midday without trouble, and generally sleeps for 1-2 hours. This is enough to get him through until his bedtime at 8. We're still a little bit in a limbo area as he fully adjusts to the change, but on the vast majority of days, this is what works.
Bedtime: I have had essentially the same bedtime routine for Little Man since he was about 6 weeks old. He has a bath [shower here in Brazil], gets a mini massage with lavender lotion, and dressed in jammies. Bedtime used to involve a hit-or-miss method of nursing to sleep. Mostly a hit, except that it lead to him needing to be nursed to sleep every time he woke up during the night, which was frequently. We now nurse earlier in the evening, and then after jammies we call Daddy into his room to "say good-nights." This is where Daddy carries him around his room to say good night to all of his animals. We lay him in his crib with his lovey, "Sleepy Blanket," and tell him we love him. He's laid down completely awake and falls asleep on his own. Full disclosure: this is due to some difficult "sleep training" that did involve crying. I know it's not something everyone agrees with, and earlier in my life, I would have opposed it too. It just happens to be what worked for our family. Little Man's night awakenings have stopped, but he is an early riser--typically 5:00 to 5:30 a.m. like clockwork.
Now that I've written this, I'm sure everything will change--such is the nature of life with a little human being. What about you other mamas out there? What do you find most difficult about being a mama? Has your little one always slept like an angel, or were there a few tears along the way?
